Running With Scissors Pt. 6

Original photo by Steve

RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

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Part 6

"Where is the closest gas station?" I asked the ghost in my phone. "Can you even do that? What do you have access to?"

"Everything. Did you know there are cats on the internet? A lot of them."

"Yes, I knew that."

"Gas station approaching on the left."

I turned into it and parked in the back. It wasn't gas I needed, but a change of clothes and some breakfast. "I'll be right back. Look up cats on Roombas if you get bored."

"What is a Roooooomba? Roombahhh, Roooombaaaaaaahh, Roomba."

"It's a little automatic vacuum."

It was a little odd talking to my phone like it was another being, but I just tried to picture someone sitting at their computer on the other end of the line. I left the device on my dashboard and popped the trunk. In the corner was an unmarked duffel bag. I dragged it out of the back and checked the contents.

Leave it to my mother to make sure I had a go-bag packed and ready. I fished out a bagged pair of slacks and a plain, bright teal shirt, remarkably unwrinkled for all the time they'd spent stuffed away. I traded my tennis shoes for a pair of black flats, put my hair up in a smooth bun without the aid of a mirror, and changed in the back seat without too much fuss.

The 7-11's breakfast options were disappointing but functional. When I returned to the car the ghost excitedly recounted her experience with the cats on Roomba, cats in sinks, cats in boxes, and cats otherwise where they didn't belong.

"The Roomba, on the other hand is quite annoying. It doesn't work very efficiently, tracks all over the room at random- there's no rhyme or reason to it. I could make a better one. Where do I learn about programming? Turn right at the next intersection."

I flicked my blinker. "Start with Wikipedia." I recognized downtown. I was coming from the opposite direction than usual, but with my internal compass sorted I tracked past one-way streets to find a small corner of free parking not too far from my final destination. My phone had gone quiet.

"Hey." I said at it. "You still there?"

"Programming is very simple, I don't understand why someone hasn't fixed the Roooooomba."

"Probably because they like seeing their cats on it, look, I've got to get to an interview so I need to hang up. Does that, like, turn you off or anything?"

"I will sit in the internet and program a better Roomba."

"Ok, cool. I guess. Have fun."

"Do you have a cat?"

"No."

"We may need to get one when my better Roomba is ready. For testing."

"Right. Testing." Of course. "Good bye." I hung up on the ghost.

Two blocks away from the office address, I heard shouting. People were starting to gather on the corner, traffic was stopped in every direction, and a policeman sat on the curb half-covered in a green slime-like jelly talking into his walky.

"We need backup. Riot gear. Tear gas. Mallets. Boxing gloves. Anything." His hand darted out and slapped the pavement. When he lifted away, green slime stretched between his fingers and a tiny red knitted cap with a cheerful pompom on top was all that was left. I couldn't identify what he'd squished. "Hurry. We're being overrun!"

Part 7 or All Chapters

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