Running With Scissors Pt. 6

Original photo by Steve

RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

See the whole list of blogs here.

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Part 6

"Where is the closest gas station?" I asked the ghost in my phone. "Can you even do that? What do you have access to?"

"Everything. Did you know there are cats on the internet? A lot of them."

"Yes, I knew that."

"Gas station approaching on the left."

I turned into it and parked in the back. It wasn't gas I needed, but a change of clothes and some breakfast. "I'll be right back. Look up cats on Roombas if you get bored."

"What is a Roooooomba? Roombahhh, Roooombaaaaaaahh, Roomba."

"It's a little automatic vacuum."

It was a little odd talking to my phone like it was another being, but I just tried to picture someone sitting at their computer on the other end of the line. I left the device on my dashboard and popped the trunk. In the corner was an unmarked duffel bag. I dragged it out of the back and checked the contents.

Leave it to my mother to make sure I had a go-bag packed and ready. I fished out a bagged pair of slacks and a plain, bright teal shirt, remarkably unwrinkled for all the time they'd spent stuffed away. I traded my tennis shoes for a pair of black flats, put my hair up in a smooth bun without the aid of a mirror, and changed in the back seat without too much fuss.

The 7-11's breakfast options were disappointing but functional. When I returned to the car the ghost excitedly recounted her experience with the cats on Roomba, cats in sinks, cats in boxes, and cats otherwise where they didn't belong.

"The Roomba, on the other hand is quite annoying. It doesn't work very efficiently, tracks all over the room at random- there's no rhyme or reason to it. I could make a better one. Where do I learn about programming? Turn right at the next intersection."

I flicked my blinker. "Start with Wikipedia." I recognized downtown. I was coming from the opposite direction than usual, but with my internal compass sorted I tracked past one-way streets to find a small corner of free parking not too far from my final destination. My phone had gone quiet.

"Hey." I said at it. "You still there?"

"Programming is very simple, I don't understand why someone hasn't fixed the Roooooomba."

"Probably because they like seeing their cats on it, look, I've got to get to an interview so I need to hang up. Does that, like, turn you off or anything?"

"I will sit in the internet and program a better Roomba."

"Ok, cool. I guess. Have fun."

"Do you have a cat?"

"No."

"We may need to get one when my better Roomba is ready. For testing."

"Right. Testing." Of course. "Good bye." I hung up on the ghost.

Two blocks away from the office address, I heard shouting. People were starting to gather on the corner, traffic was stopped in every direction, and a policeman sat on the curb half-covered in a green slime-like jelly talking into his walky.

"We need backup. Riot gear. Tear gas. Mallets. Boxing gloves. Anything." His hand darted out and slapped the pavement. When he lifted away, green slime stretched between his fingers and a tiny red knitted cap with a cheerful pompom on top was all that was left. I couldn't identify what he'd squished. "Hurry. We're being overrun!"

Part 7 or All Chapters

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Running With Scissors Pt. 5

Original photo by Steve

RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

See the whole list of blogs here.

--//--

Part 5

The Queen's mouth opened. She had a lot of teeth. Her thick tongue flicked like a snake across my face and I just knew it. I had volunteered to be a snack. The dragon said, "YOU TASTE LIKE YOU TELL THE TRUTH."

They could taste lies? Could I lie if I didn't know what I was talking about?

"YOU WILL SWEAR THIS OATH FOR MY SON?"

I blinked through sticky dragon spit and rubbed my face on my shoulder. "Yes, I swear." Just don't eat me, please?

"I WILL ACCEPT THIS OATH. RELEASE HER." The guards dropped me. And bowed. That was weird.  I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt. "VISITS TWICE PER WEEK ARE ACCEPTABLE UNTIL MY SON COMES INTO THIS WORLD. THEN WE WILL DISCUSS YOUR ADDITIONAL DUTIES."

If I hadn't volunteered to be eaten, just what was I supposed to be doing? "Great, that's perfect. I'll see you on Thursday, then."

The Queen stepped back to her former position on the polished floor. "FAREWELL HONORED... WHAT IS YOUR HUMAN NAME?"

"Danielle."

"IT IS KESSA IN OUR TONGUE OF FIRE." The Queen tapped one claw. "HAVE IT WRITTEN." She looked down at one of her dragons-in-men-suits who swiped his fingers across a tablet. "KESSA IS GRANTED ALL HONORS AND DUTIES OF THE OATHBOUND. LET IT BE KNOWN."

I slapped the phone up to my ear, "Just what did you get me into?"

"Oh, you know. Nanny the newborn, teach him his letters and numbers, put out any fires he sets."

"Great. I'm Aunt to a dragon."

"More like... official royal babysitter."

"Thanks." I drolled. "Does the job come with dental?"

"Honored Kessa, may I escort you out?" I stared at the hand the purple-winged guard extended toward me. It was human shaped, sized, and colored. It was a very convincing fake. In fact, the whole figure was rather fetching if you could get past the giant gem-bright wings and eyes that nictated from the sides instead of blinking. They were very nice eyes, though. He reached out and took my phone. He hung up on the dragon ghost and handed the device back to me. When I reached out to take it he took my hand under his arm and began walking to the elevator.

I wasn't sure that being escorted was any better than being marched around. At least it was just the purple one and I this time. There was more room in the elevator that way.

He dropped me off at the front of the building where my small car was parked somewhat innocuously along the curb. The morning sun flashed against the mirrors. I didn't like the idea of one of them driving my car... or picking it up and flying over here with it either. I decided not to ask. I really didn't want to know.

Purple opened the passenger-side door and made an after-you gesture. "Oh, no. I'll drive my own, car, thanks."

He frowned at me, "As one of the Oathbound you are entitled to an escort. I will be happy to drive you whe--"

"No," I said. "Thank you." I did drop my phone on the passenger seat. "I don't need an escort anywhere and certainly not from one of you."

Purple's eyes nictated and he looked almost hurt by the idea that he wasn't required. He nodded and shut my  passenger door carefully. We stood facing each other for a heartbeat and I found I was reluctant to simply turn and leave. He and Green had literally plucked me from my life on their Queen's say so but they had taken great care not to hurt me which, for a dragon, probably took some doing.

I sighed, "What's your name?"

"Saker."

"And the green one?"

"Aerik."

"Well, Saker. Thank you for walking me down. I'll be back on Thursday. You or Aerik are welcome to meet me at the door. Just one of you, though. The elevator was a little cramped."

Saker gave a half bow, "I'll wait here for your return, then, Honored Kessa."

"Uh. Cool." I gave him a thumbs up and walked to the other side of my car. The seat was all the way back. Someone had been driving.

I corrected the seat and mirrors. I hit the power button on my phone and found none of my usual apps on the screen. I frowned. Flying here hadn't exactly helped me figure out how to drive back home and without a map I'd be going in circles. I dialed the ghost, all twos, and put the ringing on speaker.

"Honored Kessa!"

"Don't call me that. Where are all my apps?"

"I filed them all away. Everything's much neater now."

"I need a map out of here. It's late. I need to get home."

"It's early actually."

"A map, please." Then I reconsidered. "Why, what time is it?"

"Almost five thirty."

"Well, shit." My interview was in two hours.

"Drive out of the loop and turn right at the first intersection.

I started the car. In my rear view I saw Saker standing patiently on the curb like he could wait there all week for me to come back.

Part 6 or All Chapters

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Running With Scissors Pt. 4

Original photo by Steve

RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

See the whole list of blogs here.

--//--

Part 4

I looked up at the dragon Queen from my spot on the floor and blinked. Her golden eyes blinked back. One of the guards nudged me with his food. "Well. Answer her."

"There is no cure." I said. You don't cure a pregnancy like some kind of virus. That was the wrong answer.

The Queen sighed heavily in my direction, her breath was like the desert wind. "YOU LIE." She said, still lacking any kind of volume control. "I WILL EAT YOU FOR YOUR BETRAYAL."

Didn't you have to be in someone's trust first to betray them? "Wait!" I scrambled backward on all fours. "Wait, you don't get it. You're not sick. You're not dying." I didn't want to die either.

"I AM ILL"

"No, you're pregnant!"

The big black head drew back quite suddenly. I collapsed on the floor, breathing fast. My phone squauked. I held it to my ear. "Sorry, say again?"

"She has six. They are fighting inside of her. She will soon only have one."

"They're fighting? Like sharks?"

"Yes. The strongest uses the others for energy."

"WHO ARE YOU SPEAKING WITH?"

"Err." I pulled the phone from my ear. "Actually I have no idea. There's some ghost in my phone." I stood up. The guards didn't help. "Look, you've got six little dragons at war inside of you, that's probably why you feel sick. It'll pass. One of them will win and you'll feel much better after that."

"I AM LOOSING MY BABIES?"

Well that didn't sound very good in retrospect. "No! No, they're uh.... They're figuring out which one is the strongest and the others will er... yield to it."

"I WILL HAVE A SON."

"Well, I mean, you don't know that until you give birth, right?" Did dragons do birth or eggs?

"I WILL HAVE A STRONG SON." She said, swinging her head close again.

"Ok, yes." I agreed, hands up. "Yes, you'll have a healthy son. A good strong dragon, just like his momma." I couldn't decide if keeping eye contact was a bad thing.

"YOU WILL STAY HERE AND KEEP ME INFORMED."

"Uh... no." I began backing up. "I mean, it's been lovely, you're all quite lovely... people." Reptiles? Man-suits? "But, I've got an interview I need to get to and I really don't have any more information for you."

"YOU WILL STAY."

"Maybe we can work out some sort of twice-per-week system? Mondays and Thursdays work for you?" I hissed into the phone. "Help me out here, how do I leave?"

The dragon in my phone asked, "Why do you want to leave?"

"I have a life to get back to, thanks. Didn't you want to get out of this stuffy tower?" The two guards finally clued in that I was backing up toward the door. They strode toward me.

"It is true, I long to see the city." I heard her sigh heavily. "Very well tell our Queen that you will take the Oath of Death for her son."

"Oh, because that's not ominous. What does that even mean?" I debated between turning to run and continuing my shuffle backward. The guards didn't seem to be in a hurry, but then again, they had wings. They could fly. I couldn't.

"I thought you wanted to leave."

"I don't want to die, either."

"No one is going to kill you."

"I'm sorry, it's called the Oath of Death for a reason." The purple-winged guard fell forward to lope on the ground like an ape or... you know, a dragon. His green partner jumped forward with a huge push of his wings. I didn't stand a chance. I turned to run and a hand fisted in my hair. One of them grabbed my shirt, another hand, my belt. I was turned around to face the Queen. My phone squawked but I couldn't hear the words.

The huge, black creature that was the Queen of Dragons made a low growling noise that shook the building. Her head went up (and up and up) until it pulled her body off the polished floor. Her talons swept dragons-in-men-suits to either side. She only needed to take a single step. Her head descended from on high. "YOU WILL STAY."

I squinted into the sound of her voice. The volume really had to come down. My phone barked again but the guards held me fast. This was a really bad idea. "I will take the Oath of Death for your son."

Part 5 or All Chapters

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Running With Scissors Pt. 3

Original photo by Steve

RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

See the whole list of blogs here.

--//--

Part 3

The two dragon guards, purple and green, walked me through the narrow hallways of the office. We passed cubicles full of dragon-people, their wings sticking up over the walls like oddly shaped Christmas decorations. The sounds were strangely office-like. Phones, paper, typing keyboards. When a dragon lands on your street corner to take you away you don't really expect them to bring you to the local Bank and Trust.

We crowded into a human-sized elevator. Purple curled his tail around his feet like a cat. Green folded his wings down over his shoulders, an iridescent cloak exactly the right length.We only went up one floor. Penthouse. The doors opened and I stepped back against the wall of the elevator. There were no walls or cubicles here, just support beams and windows from edge to edge. A black and bronze dragon lounged in the far corner, far too large to be stuck indoors and yet she lay there, tapping a single claw delicately against a tablet on the floor beside her. Her tongue was forked. It stuck out to the side, curled in concentration.

"I can't do this." The guards didn't care. They took me by the shoulders and there isn't any fighting a dragon when he wants you to go somewhere, let alone two. I shook my phone again. It rang. I almost dropped it in surprise. The phone number was a line of twos all the way across. I answered it. "Hello?"

"I honestly had no idea choosing a phone number was so difficult. I hope this one isn't taken by someone else, there were just too many options."

It was the dragon ghost. I looked at the phone. No reception. All twos. I didn't know what to say. "No, it's not taken."

"Oh, good. This seems to be a nice place, a little cramped but I'll be cozy, I think."

"Good. That's good." That was good, right? The guards stopped me in front of the Queen. She was too large to see all at once and I couldn't stop panning my head back and forth to keep her all in sight. "Um." I said to the ghost. "Now's good. Whatever you know. Please tell me now."

The Queen looked up from her tablet. Her muzzle alone was as long as I was tall. There were a lot of teeth inside. Her gold eyes pinned me to the floor. "WHAT IS THE CURE?"

I staggered backward and fell on my ass. My ears rang. Everything was just noise and the word Cure echoing around in the blank spaces. I didn't even think she was yelling.

The ghost in my phone said, "She's pregnant."

Part 4 or All Chapters

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Running With Scissors Pt. 2

Original photo by Steve

RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

See the whole list of blogs here.

--//--

Part 2

I checked my phone. Again. No signal. How could there be even a square foot of space in this city that didn't have cell phone reception? I dropped my head back on the carpet and stared at the ceiling. It looked exactly like every other office ceiling I'd ever seen. That grid of speckled panels stretched from window to wall.

There was one upside to being a hostage of the dragons, they did have a very nice view of the city. One of the tallest buildings around and I couldn't bring myself to enjoy a twenty foot panoramic view. This office was unfortunately sparse. A big desk, a computer I couldn't get to turn on, and some empty bookshelves. No chairs.

I sighed and knew the two guards on the other side of that door could hear me. It was late, I wanted to go home, I had an interview tomorrow... but the Queen wanted a cure and I didn't have one to give her. I couldn't imagine what Yoka was thinking. Handling a week-old dragon when I was fifteen hardly qualified me for medical diagnosis.

Speaking of Yoka. I glanced at my phone again. No reception. The time read just past one in the morning. She only had a few more hours before daybreak forced her into stone. I hoped she was flying back to our apartment already. Although, without her I didn't have a clue how to get out of this. Unless Kender teleported in here to help me. I laughed at the thought and turned away from the window.

A dragon ghost cocked her head at me from above the computer. She didn't fit in the room. I shrieked and backed myself along the window away from the desk. I got stuck in the corner of wall and bookshelf with nowhere to go. Her entire body filled the room, wings, talons, tail, spikes. She was huge, semi-transparent, and followed my movement like a snake. I tried to melt into the book case.

"I can help you." She said.

"What?" I felt my eyes go wide and my voice was a little breathless. I was hyperventilating. I couldn't calm down. There was a ghost in the office.

"You need help. I can help you." She repeated.

There was really no way I could be closer to the shelves without molding to their shape, but I tried. "Why? What's in it for you?"

"I'm bored." She said and it sounded true. "This view is nice, but after a dozen years there's nothing new to look at."

"What." I couldn't even make it a proper question. "Why are you here?"

"I'm tied to this machine." She gestured at the computer I couldn't turn on. Her forearm-long claws went right through it.

I'd sat at that computer for two hours trying to make it work. I'd been poking at a dragon for two hours. Had I woken her up? "What do you want from me?"

"Take me out of here. Show me some place new."

"Take the computer with me?"

"Or let me haunt something of yours."

I realized suddenly we were negotiating. Information for freedom. "How do I know you can help?"

"The Queen thinks she is dying."

"Uh... yeah, that's right." I straightened up a little bit but didn't leave my corner of the office.

"I know why. I can help."

The office door opened and two men walked in. Men with huge iridescent wings and long spiked tails. Dragons in the form of man like a suit. Incidentally, their man-shapes were wearing very nice suits. "The Queen demands your answer. Come with us." The one with more purple in him said.

I shot my attention to the ghost. "Tell me!"

"Give me something to haunt."

I didn't have anything. The two guards approached, walking through the ghost as if that were a normal thing to encounter in a high-rise office. I patted myself down like checking folds of a shirt and pants would spontaneously result in a solution. My hand landed on my phone. I held it up. "Here. This. You can haunt this."

The dragon ghost snaked her head forward in a flash. She dove into my little phone with all the wind and shake of a volcano. The building swayed with the force of it. My phone beeped and went dead. I stared at the little machine. I was going to need a new phone, now, wasn't I?

I shook it. The guards grabbed my shoulders and marched me forward. I slapped the phone on my thigh and shouted at it. "We had a deal! Tell me what you know!" It remained stubbornly unresponsive.

Part 3 or All Chapters

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