Monday, September 9, 2013

Running With Scissors Pt. 9

Original photo by Steve
RWS is a serial fantasy story that posts every Monday following Danielle, a regular girl stuck in an irregular world where unicorns serve as judge and jury, gnomes have infested the south district, and a minor god reports the weather on the nightly news. 

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Part 9

The dragon shook herself. "You can hardly expect me to sit in that device all day without a chance to stretch my wi-" She eyed Sam and her nose flared. "Hello, Cat."

I could suddenly feel the tension sparking in the air. Sam bobbed her head just a nod. "Hello, Lizard."

The two of them stared at each other, both waiting for the other to make a move. I had a feeling the history between them wasn't suitable for the middle of the street. I spoke a little louder than necessary, "Since you're here..."

It took a second, but the dragon shifted her head in my direction. I felt Sam relax a hair beside me. "Since you're here, do you have any suggestions on rounding up gnomes? They're living in the sewers and we'd like to relocate them."

"It would be easier to kill them all."

Sam barked, "Well if you're not going to be useful you can just--"

"She asked for my opinion and I gave it to her!" The dragon snarled.

The two of them glared at each other until I stepped in between them. "Ok, hold the horses. Shit." I looked at the dragon, "This is the only job offer I've got and if I can't pay my phone bill, you're stuck in this little box." I wiggled my phone. "So let's talk relocation."

"You have a perfectly functional job. As Oathbound you have plenty of work."

I waved one hand, "The Queen's not paying me to .... I don't even know--"

The ghost snorted, "The queen sits in the penthouse of Killigan Tower Stock Exchange. She is literally on the top of this century's pile of treasure. What on earth makes you think she's not going to reward you for your services?"

"It wasn't exactly part of the oath swearing and licking I got. You're changing the subject." I pointed at the sea of green gnomes still on their knees. "How do I get them to central park?"

The dragon heaved a great sigh, "Hark! Pests! An Eternal Flame addresses you."

The gnomes whispered, "Dragon."

"Leave this place. Head north by northwest to Central Park and live there until called upon."

The movement was immediate. A green sea of creatures swarmed northward and quite rapidly emptied from the intersection. They left behind the slime and tiny red caps of their squished siblings.

"Thank you." Horns honked as the swarm caused more traffic where they went. At least they went.

"I don't understand your desire for an additional job."

"We'll talk about it later. Can you sit in the phone for a few hours, please? I'll call you when I get home."

The dragon stretched her back end up high and kneaded the pavement with her claws like a cat. "Very well. I shall finish programming my roomba." She jumped into my phone, a movement of wind and pressure that lasted for heartbeats.

The police finally arrived.

Sam put a hand on my shoulder and casually walked me out of the intersection. "Let's get back to the office and let them deal with the clean up. Seems we have some chatting to do, anyway."

That didn't sound good but I walked. I did need a job and despite the ghost's assumption, I didn't really think the Queen had any intention of paying me. It probably hadn't crossed her mind. I tried to scrape green gnome goop off my flats and utterly failed. Sam was splattered with it. The intersection was a mess. Traffic would be snarled for hours. It was only eight in the morning and it had already been a long day.


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